the idea of god

i guess this really started a few days ago, when i had a lab with mr glassman about my thoreau paper. in walden, thoreau seems to see god, or some beauty semi-divine in nature, and it struck me as almost pantheistic, which i sorta subscribe to. more than any other religion anyway. i figure that the beauty in nature is so perfect and singular that its hard to believe its all a coincidence, that there's some divine force within it, if not behind it. maybe life itself is divine, god-given. that would be convenient. =P

so anyway, it turns out thoreau never had a specific religious belief. and that was a huge relief. because i really really admired how he thought, and felt, and wrote. he saw so much beauty in life, like i always try to, and he articulated it sophisticatedly, which i dont reli try to do, but it would be nice.

and it got me thinking. maybe some people dont believe in religion. i mean sure, everyone believes in something. (i've also been listening to that john mayer song belief some this week) if you believe in god, as creator, or guardian, or watever, that's wat u believe in. or if u believe in the devil, or that there's no god, that's still a belief. but during yesterday's service, there was a "moment of meditation" where we were supposed to reflect on god and his grace and blah blah blah.

i technically did that, well, i reflected on the idea of god, and the purpose of religion. i realized that religion, and the idea of god, is a catalyst. it triggers feelings in people. it causes direction, safety, anger, joy, and most of all, hope.

i had a conversation with my dad about this on the way back, and i feel it relates to jessy's blog entry recently. and now that i think about it, russell told me something like this before, when explaining how he's atheist/agnostic, cuz he says he respects others religions, but he doesnt seem to like the idea behind folloing a religion. religion gives people a sense of security. the idea of a god makes people think that, even though they're inperfect and flawed, there's some greater being who's in charge and he's perfect and wise and so everything will turn out ok because he's running the show, so all we have to do is follow him and not question his plan, because we're just humans, what do we know? god is a symbol of order, or direction, of stability for the universe, which is why people feel they have a purpose when they communicate with or follow what they believe to be god.

so god is like a giant, invisible security blanket. he reli is like the father or mother. strong, capable, and able to make everything ok. at some point. i guess we reli on god even more when we're unsure or unsteady of ourselves.

but sometimes religion seems blind. there's no real proof, so we reli on passion and fervor in our told direction to drive us down the path "god" has put out for us. now i'm not saying don't believe in god, just make sure you have a reason. i mean, sure, my reason isn't great, but i don't reli believe in a "god", persay. i like to think there's something, some natural intelligence simpler but greater than ours in all that's around us. the way the stars twinkle, the way the sun shines, the way the moon glows, the way leaves and clouds and the ocean catches all of these lights and reflects them so beautifully, and how we humans are constructed not only to see them, but to enjoy them. i guess i think god was like our designer. he wrote our blueprints, but had no idea wat material we each would be made out of, so left it for us to navigate the program he put in our minds, which includes infinite possibility. possibility for hope, fear, obedience, defiance, questioning, joy, sorrow, and most of all, uncertainty. =P