selfish selflessness

ok, well, the basic jist is this: sometimes, i feel like i try to do a lot for you, but it never helps, or it never seems to....count? in ur mind, i guess.

wat got to me 2nite was when u were talking about getting the tattoo, and u said u wanted dave/russell to go with u. and it kinda hurt not seeing my name there. i mean, the more understanding part of me thought "ok, she probably wants physical comfort, which isn't quite my strong point." but still, that's one of my biggest insecurities, so the more emotional side felt pain.

idk, i guess i'm just a little pissed cuz i feel like i do a lot to try and help u. cut dance classes (the one b4 spring break, that was more about me being worried about u than anything else, and i payed for that, but watever), cutting classes (never want Glassman to yell at me like that again, scary), staying late (admittedly, most of those times were just me not wanting to leave), and blowing off work (laziness on my part).

ur my best friend jessy, and one of the things i want most in the world is to see u happy. this may seem hypocritical, but i really don't want u to feel guilty because of this post. idk, i'm indulging the part of me that likes attention for the good i try to do for ppl.

the point may be muddled, but i just want u to feel that ur not alone, cuz i'm almost always looking out for u.