i realized something yesterday. i was thinking about what jessy said, and realized that she's right. i do live in the present. when i watch the clouds go by, i dont think about how long they'll be there for me to look at them, or how long they'll be moving in front of the sun, catching their light and framing the sky perfectly. when i look at trees, i dont think how long until they bloom, i just enjoy the white buds about to flower.
the only thing i really worry about losing are people. i question my own mortality almost any time i'm alone. i think of random possibilities of how i could die at that moment, not in fear, or sadness, but just in acceptance, i guess, of how life can be here one moment, gone the next, so u might as well enjoy the moment now, cuz it may be your last. MUWAHAHAHA. =P
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