i don't know what hurts more. knowing I ruined her first good mood in a while, hearing a sum of wat she's been going through lately and knowing it may not be all, or knowing that nothing i can say or do will help.
of the 3 things that almost made me cry this weekend, this has been the worst, but the least tear-provoking.
it's weird. when my friends are going through shit, i only seem to cry when i pray for them. it's a different kind of pain, not like with samantha or hannah, or even ariel. i just feel empty, weak. almost physically so.
a big part of me doesn't want her to read this, cuz i know it won't help, but i feel like getting this out somewhere, and being selfish. ta. da.
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