each day i seem to miss someone else, most of whom aren't in the city right now. =[ this is for you all.
madame t-juliet and i were at red lobster yesterday, and we heard some african music a block away, and she asked where u were, and i thought about it, and realized just how much i miss watching u dance. african, hip hop, modern, you always had ur own flavor to it and made it look effortless. and u never look as free as u do when u dance. it's like the world dissolves around u and ur christening a new one with your moves. u know i'm coming bak to see ur dtw piece, so make it hot. =]
sunflower girl-i still need to type up that poem for u, sorry. =P give my regards to ur wonderful gf, i love the cd u gave me, and i'll miss playing music with u at ur house. u have such a zest for everything u do in life, and i don't know what i'll do to get that extra energy u'd give me daily with your presence. get back from whatever beautiful location you're at right now so i can hear u sing and play ur guitar songs. =]
bluebird-i never took the time to say how happy i am for u, and how proud i am of you for making it these past two years. i hear ur family's amazing, and i couldn't be happier for u. i wonder if u still play guitar, if u still write songs, if u still love the sunrise the same way u taught me to years ago. i've asked about u from jess and julia, but i guess i was too afraid to call or something, honestly, because i feel like i abandoned u when u left. i just let u go and that was that. but i miss how we used to be, and i'll always cherish those memories. =]
shadow-even though i saw u a few days ago, it made me realize how much i miss u. i can't wait till u get ur computer so we can ichat and i can find out if that finger thing still works. u really do seem more mature. u were always thoughtful, but now u're using those powers for understanding urself and not just criticizing. u must keep writing and show me ur poems, because i'll always be able to learn about language from anything u write. u've been through a lot and u're still standing, so never underestimate ur strength. u can take on anything this world might throw at u, and i'm always here to catch u, even if i have to run across the world and leap, arms outstretched. =]
ninjaaah-i could not be less surprised that ur apprenticing with a blacksmith. i'm gonna miss having u there as an example, academically, athletically, making me want to be as good as u. u motivated me more that u know, and i know u can do absolutely anything that u care enough about to devote urself to. it's cliche, but u've proven time and again, with dancing, wrestling, schoolwork, women, that anything u want, u can achieve as long as u give it an honest try. we're going to college, time to forge ur own path, and russ, u can change the world, so reli put ur mind to wat u want to do, and don't just fuck around, because frankly, if u squandered ur talent and drive by doing something meaningless to u, i'd be fucking pissed off. kick some ass man. =]
Friday, July 31, 2009
Saturday, July 18, 2009
sympathy vs. empathy vs. apathy
since my last post was supposed to say empathy every time i wrote sympathy, i thought this would be a good next topic.
i realized that throughout most of highschool, i never really sypathized. i was always either empathetic or apathetic to people. with people i cared about, i always tried to relate to them, understand what they were feeling. it didn't seem to be enough to just recognize that what they were going through sucked. i had to experience it with them so that they weren't so alone in their plights. with people i didn't care about as much, i either didn't know their problems, or i didn't really care because their issues seemed trivial next to what the people i cared about were always going through.
but empathy gets draining, and apathy gets numbing, so we almost need to practice sympathy to keep a healthy distance between caring about others and preserving your own piece of mind.
someone once told me that the man who is completely selfish has no friends, but neither does the man who is completely selfless, and that might be the best advice i've ever been given. empathy can be rare, but it's potent, so if you can, by all means, empathize with people going through shit. but if not, it never hurts to show you care, or sympathize, if that's the correct definition.
"though thought and feeling lie so far apart,
though possibility does make me wince,
i often as if i do have a heart,
this beating in my chest does not convince."
i realized that throughout most of highschool, i never really sypathized. i was always either empathetic or apathetic to people. with people i cared about, i always tried to relate to them, understand what they were feeling. it didn't seem to be enough to just recognize that what they were going through sucked. i had to experience it with them so that they weren't so alone in their plights. with people i didn't care about as much, i either didn't know their problems, or i didn't really care because their issues seemed trivial next to what the people i cared about were always going through.
but empathy gets draining, and apathy gets numbing, so we almost need to practice sympathy to keep a healthy distance between caring about others and preserving your own piece of mind.
someone once told me that the man who is completely selfish has no friends, but neither does the man who is completely selfless, and that might be the best advice i've ever been given. empathy can be rare, but it's potent, so if you can, by all means, empathize with people going through shit. but if not, it never hurts to show you care, or sympathize, if that's the correct definition.
"though thought and feeling lie so far apart,
though possibility does make me wince,
i often as if i do have a heart,
this beating in my chest does not convince."
Friday, July 3, 2009
knowledge
so i'm reading siddhartha, almost done, it's been a nice book to take my time on and reflect whilst reading, thanks russ for the book, and here's some stuff it's made me think about and realize.
because each of our realities is a perception of the world, we can't really KNOW what IS, but we have our impressions and beliefs as to what IS. so no one can really possess knowledge. instead, what we have are beliefs, both weak and strong about what is and what is not.
what defines a belief as weak or strong is evidence and reasoning. like with a theory, however many instances in life that we perceive reflect and support that belief, the stronger or weaker said belief is. like how every time we see a wall withstand force, or hit it with our hand and get hurt, we know it to be hard. each time we see that similar result in the world, we have more and more certainty of our belief.
a reli cool thing about belief/knowledge is how we obtain it. the way i see it, there are two ways we learn, or gather knowledge and beliefs about the world: experience and teaching.
experience is like reading from a primary source, this source being the world as we see it through our perception via our senses. the secondary source of teaching being when someone else or something else (like a book, hint hint) tells us something. experience is much stronger in this respect, because the reality of it is closer to our mind, while teaching is us seeing through someone else's perception something in the world.
when we experience something, like heartbreak, or a bruise, or trauma, we understand it firsthand, much better than when someone tries to describe it. the former is just more vivid in our minds.
when someone tells or teaches us something, it's more difficult. we like proof, or reasons to show that this teaching is true or reliable. if not, we just go along with whatever is told to us without really understanding why it is true. experience gives us a firsthand example of knowledge, like a self-evident truth.
final point of this post, dedicated to mr. fisher, who once asked "but isn't sympathy bs?"
sometimes, yes, it is bs. but when you've legitimately experienced the same scenario (for lack of a better word) that the other person is going/had gone/will go through, you do understand what that person is experiencing. when you have experienced the same thing, or a very similar thing, sympathy becomes much more real and genuine. but if you've never experienced the same thing, then you are farther from understanding the situation of the other person, for the reasons i've stated above.
so it depends, mr. fisher. if you've never experienced what the other person is going through, then yes, you're sympathy is bs. you don't know what they're experiencing, and all you can do is guess how they feel.
but if you have gone through the same or a similar thing as the other person, then your sympathy is not bs. you need a decent understanding of your own feelings to relate and understand someone else's, and a willingness to be there for the other person and seem sincere, but bottom line, your sympathy will be true, because you have been there, and that experience has taught you to understand that situation.
because each of our realities is a perception of the world, we can't really KNOW what IS, but we have our impressions and beliefs as to what IS. so no one can really possess knowledge. instead, what we have are beliefs, both weak and strong about what is and what is not.
what defines a belief as weak or strong is evidence and reasoning. like with a theory, however many instances in life that we perceive reflect and support that belief, the stronger or weaker said belief is. like how every time we see a wall withstand force, or hit it with our hand and get hurt, we know it to be hard. each time we see that similar result in the world, we have more and more certainty of our belief.
a reli cool thing about belief/knowledge is how we obtain it. the way i see it, there are two ways we learn, or gather knowledge and beliefs about the world: experience and teaching.
experience is like reading from a primary source, this source being the world as we see it through our perception via our senses. the secondary source of teaching being when someone else or something else (like a book, hint hint) tells us something. experience is much stronger in this respect, because the reality of it is closer to our mind, while teaching is us seeing through someone else's perception something in the world.
when we experience something, like heartbreak, or a bruise, or trauma, we understand it firsthand, much better than when someone tries to describe it. the former is just more vivid in our minds.
when someone tells or teaches us something, it's more difficult. we like proof, or reasons to show that this teaching is true or reliable. if not, we just go along with whatever is told to us without really understanding why it is true. experience gives us a firsthand example of knowledge, like a self-evident truth.
final point of this post, dedicated to mr. fisher, who once asked "but isn't sympathy bs?"
sometimes, yes, it is bs. but when you've legitimately experienced the same scenario (for lack of a better word) that the other person is going/had gone/will go through, you do understand what that person is experiencing. when you have experienced the same thing, or a very similar thing, sympathy becomes much more real and genuine. but if you've never experienced the same thing, then you are farther from understanding the situation of the other person, for the reasons i've stated above.
so it depends, mr. fisher. if you've never experienced what the other person is going through, then yes, you're sympathy is bs. you don't know what they're experiencing, and all you can do is guess how they feel.
but if you have gone through the same or a similar thing as the other person, then your sympathy is not bs. you need a decent understanding of your own feelings to relate and understand someone else's, and a willingness to be there for the other person and seem sincere, but bottom line, your sympathy will be true, because you have been there, and that experience has taught you to understand that situation.
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