poem

so i haven't posted in a month, and i haven't posted a poem since goodness knows when, and since i'm in a writing poetry class with fucking poet laureate richard wilbur (it's ok, be impressed =P) i figure i should post.

now that i think of it, we're writing a poem a week for this class, so maybe i'll just post them up here too every week. we'll see how long it lasts.

Solidarity
The clouds now gather over light,
As something is about to fall.
A gravity pulls down the wall
And dims a star no longer bright.

The sky's a saturated grey,
A weighted, guilty weariness.
Whatever sin need be confessed,
Her disposition soft betrays.

Then, drop by drop, the tears descend,
A whispering into a yell.
The thunder booms, a flashing tell
That charged emotions now contend.

The wind strips down the mighty trees,
And tugs at every blade of grass,
The earth but waits, her rage will pass;
Ever the diva, ever the tease.

The skies subside, the sun returns,
And heaven seems to smile again.
The ground takes solace, as her friend,
Forgotten in his cuts and burns.

-Daydreamer

merry christmas

so yea, i didn't forget it was christmas =]

as always, i wish everyone all the happiness and love and peace that i feel we each deserve everyday. we just happen to pick today to go all out in giving that to others. still, keep this cheer and good spiritedness towards ourselves and others as fresh as possible all year round.

why u ask? why not? =D

happy holidays.

chick flicks (expected)

ok, so i saw the notebook and he's just not that into you in the same week, and i loved them both. surprise surprise.

it's been too long since i've blogged, but i don't know where to begin. ok, the notebook was pure beauty from beginning to end, and even though i could predict almost everything in the movie, i still cried at the end. too touching an ending. couldn't handle it.

i expected he's just not that into you to be cheesy, predictable, and cliche, but i really liked it. the ending was bittersweet, as to where the characters ended up (alone or with someone). the right people ended up happy though. they weaved the characters together pretty well, and they set up the romances nicely. all in all, i'd watch it again. but i feel like the notebook is one of those movies that will just stick with me to the point that i won't need to see it again.

err, updates, updates.... college is still great, finals weren't so bad. a little stressful, but as my upperclassmen friends showed me, it'll be worse soon enough. =P i'm writing poetry as always, playing piano as always, i'm probably gonna audition for one of the dance groups up there next semester, oh, and i'm singing my ass off. =]

i'm not gonna lie, i love it at amherst, and that doesn't look like it's gonna change. but it's always good to be home with the ppl i love. i hope i see every person who gets to read this b4 i go back on the 8th. =]

catharsis

thanks dad, for teaching me the word for a huge change right before going off to college, cuz it's starting to kick in. the parties are just starting to get monotonous, and people are acting kinda crazy. it's good tho, cuz there are always zumbyes and bluesox (the zumbyes' sister group) willing to chill less maniacally, and these guys ryan and azlan are more or less two distinct possibilities of what i'll be like as a senior.

i miss you ny ppl, it's weird trying to find a sort of home in every aspect of life here, but i'm working on it, and hopefully things will solidify soon. but for now, i'm just getting fucking pissed off at how 90% of the time, ppl can't fathom having fun without getting trashed. i actually threw my phone and punched a wall the other day and almost caused dorm damage. it wasn't just cuz of this, but it pushed me over the edge for a bit. first time i've been mad since coming here.

ugh. ok, better now. =]

new stuffs

so i figured it was time to blog again, if for no other reason to mix up the posts that are up now. they're all kinda heavy, and i feel like i'm in a fog lately, so maybe if i blog more often, i can see what's in my head an make more sense of it. only time will tell.

so i'm back in ny, it's weird. riding in the bus back into the city, there were some clouds that had been streaked across the sky in lines, like a barbecue grill, and the sunset behind them made them look red. it was sort of disconcerting, like the sky was smeared with blood. oh well, i doubt it's a reliable omen for the next two days (knock on wood). new york was just as congested, chaotic, and loud as i thought it would be, and i already miss being able to make eye contact with people. =[

the cab ride back sort of gave me a headache, idk if it was the noise, the smelly air, or the speed of the cab ride itself, but it just reminded me that i'm truly not a city boy at heart. i'm too lazy/relaxed/slow paced for this place, but it is my home. oh well.

it's funny, i realized that i'd tried to disown ny because when i thought back, i had a very biased image of it. congested, crowded, rude ppl, polluted, too much commercialism, too hectic and fast paced. i mean, all of that is right, but ny's also really artistic, and parts of it are as beautiful as other parts are...not. =P i guess you just have to take the good with the bad. welcome home.

blah

just had to get that last post out, momentary lapse in happiness. most things are great here, parties and shit just gets confusing sometimes. that's all. =P

confusion

what is it? it's like they're members of some amazing, secret cult that can tell when others aren't. but it's not even a secret, they wear it on their sleeves, they talk about it, splitting everyone into us or them. they look out for their own, so to speak, and shun others from their sacred practices. ugh, it's so fucking annoying.

why do they think it makes them better? half the time it wasn't about trust, and the other half it just happened too early, for the wrong reasons, and regrets piled upon regrets, was it really worth gaining those first few years of superiority before the cult runs its course and just becomes commonplace? someone, please enlighten me, as i am a woeful, uneducated, timid thing, not worth your attention or your indulgence.

fuck you.